CULTURAL APPROACH TO KENYA'S CRISIS

In a radical shift from the conventional ways of handling the post-election dilemma in Kenya through international mediators, Mr. Jarius K’Onyiego has proposed a cultural approach that should embrace Kenya’s different rites of passage, to be performed on Mwai Kibaki and Raila Odinga, who both contested the presidency.He puts it this way.....

It seems that everyday, the stalemate in the peace negotiations between the Party of National Unity (PNU) and the Orange Democratic Movement (ODM) continues. Mediators from all walks of life have a field day coming to see some two Kenyan groups of Leaders, who seem not to know whether they are going or coming. One of them "Claims to be the President", while the other "Claims to be the legitimately elected President."

From these two, we climb down to the desperate, auctionable politicians – the MPs under PNU, while on the other hand, we have the DIE HARD Unshakable truthful MPs under ODM (unshakable because some have already been killed, but the remaining have sworn to soldier on), they are determined to see the truth and most of all, the call for change comes from the vast majority of Kenyans. What a conviction they have!

Climbing down the ladder from here, we get the foot soldiers in the form of the murderous outfit called Mungiki (a proscribed militia group), carrying out the ideas and intentions of Kibaki Tena (Kibaki Again) group to the letter. On the drawing board are the "evil minded" pre-planners of the massacres in Kisumu and the hell bent "revenge architects" who planned the Naivasha massacre, and who are still out to cause mayhem and havoc throughout Kenya. They still keep thumping their chests that the Kalenjin and the Luo are the cause of this violence; and so they are going to butcher these two communities till they are finished.

The other side of this flip coin is the "DIE HARD TRUTH AND JUSTICE SEEKING MISSILES", ARMED ONLY WITH STONES AND SLINGS, AT TIMES WITH BARE HANDS, BUT WHO ARE DELIRIOUSLY DETERMINED TO SEE JUSTICE AND TRUTH ONCE AND FOR ALL. They are willing and ready to fight to death anytime. THEY ARE LIKE A TIME BOMB WAITING TO EXPLODE. THE CLOCK PUTTING THEM ON HOLD IS ONE ODM LEADER IN THE NAME OF RAILA ODINGA. WHAT I DON'T KNOW IS HOW LONG WILL HE KEEP THIS BOMB DORMANT BEFORE EXPLODING?

Every time they see this bogus Government representative, the pressure keeps building up. If Raila is not strong enough that pressure will reach what is called MAIP (Maximum allowable injustice pressure). After that, it will definitely be an explosion, which can take any dimension. I mean it will be an explosion that one cannot predict as to which way it will go or end.

Unfortunately, the grass between the EVIL REVENGE ARCHITECTS (THE KIBAKI TENA GROUP) AND THE JUSTICE SEEKING MISSILES AND TORCH BEARING WARRIORS are hundreds of hapless destitutes who have been forced out of their homes by the "Torch" or the panga (machete) wielding goons, who were ready and more than willing to dispatch them to the next world. They only managed to escape death by a whisker. These people are spread all over the Republic not knowing what to do next. They cannot venture out of the police stations where their safety for the next minute is guaranteed, but not certain as matters can change in a flash. Those trapped in the Rift Valley continue to be hoodwinked and fooled that all their misery was caused by the Luo. The truth is these people really are victims of both parties, and more so PNU.

Elusive mediation

Now amidst all this, nobody seems to come up with a solution. That is the reason why I am writing this piece. I am a KENYAN, and Kenyans have been known over the years, to conjure some ideas that can be very elusive to the ordinary eye, especially when it comes to peace. Not to mention they can also manufacture intricate corruption plans only second in nature to Nigerians (though at the present rate, Nigeria's capability in this area will soon look medieval).

Now let us talk serious peace. Do you remember the political crisis in the 1990s between the Inkatha Freedom Party and the African National Congress (ANC) both of South Africa? It was a Kenyan who brokered peace between them before the first post-apartheid elections. A Kenyan diplomat Professor Jalang’o Okumu comes in mind. How about Sierra Leone? Does not the name of UN Commander General Daniel Opande ring a bell to you? But why go far? Just cross the border to the north and find Southern Sudan where people now live in abundance of peace, and the construction of the country is in full progress. They, whose peace was elusive for 15 years, but now live in harmony. Well, if you don't know General Lazaro Sumbeiywo (another Kenyan), then you must be living in another world. The only place where Kenyans have failed to broker true peace was in SOMALIA, because a MR KALONZO MUSYOKA, (leader of the ODM-Kenya), he of the Traitor Faith and Doctrine, was as usual, doing the traitor manoeuvre and Miracle act, instead of negotiating and seeking the real peace.

Cultural disdain, a peace proposal

Ladies and Gentlemen, the whole issue why we are currently in this quagmire, started as a cultural joke, you know! "Raila is not electable because he is a Luo", then he "IS NOT CIRCUMCISED" then "he doesn't have money because Luos are poor and do not have lower six teeth". In fact all arguments that were presented against Raila's possible Presidential candidacy, had nothing to do with his Leadership abilities, but it had every factor to do with "OUTRAGEOUS COWARDLY ARROGANCE" mixed with tradition to diminish the man's quest, on grounds that he happened to have been born by Luo parents, as though any of us ever had the ability to choose who to parent us. In any case, why would a Luo be treated as a second class CITIZEN in a country that he/she is native of and he/she fought for its independence?

Leaving Raila’s case, let us for a moment turn to Kibaki. He of the KAZI IENDELEE FAME, (THE WORK THAT YOU REALLY NEVER SAW), BUT WHICH WAS DRUMMED INTO YOUR HEAD LIKE THE GONG OF A CHURCH BELL AT NAIROBI’S HOLYFAMILYBASILICABEHINDCITY HALL). IT WAS "KAZI" OF HARDSHIP AND HEAPS OF PRICE INCREASES ON ESSENTIAL COMMODITIES AGAINST THE "haba" (scarce) shilling! This Kazi iendelee (work should continue) man is surrounded by other arrogant tycoons who think only about two things; namely LOOTING THE STATE AND MURDERING THOSE AGAINST THEM, AS WELL AS IMAGINARY ENEMIES.

So right there, we have a super stalemate, which is not easy to resolve. But I being a Kenyan OF FAITH IN PEACE, A BASIC INGREDIENT THAT HAS HELD US TOGETHER FOR 44 YEARS AND NOW SEVERELY THREATENED, I of the basic but crafty ideas, I do hereby present to you a Peace Initiative that if pursued, will bring everlasting peace to the communities in Kenya.

You see "Tradition and Customs" to the African, especially the Kenyan, is like Religion to the Muslims and so called "Christians". I mean it is what they breathe. It is life in itself, and no matter how much education a Kenyan has received from the Western world, when a crisis arises, and an important decision has to be made, the Kenyan will take all that education, be it a permanent head damage (PhD), throw it out of the window, then remain bare naked in his mind. He will then reason and argue like someone who never heard of school, let alone stepping inside a classroom. For it is the Traditions and Culture that govern these people's lives.

Having this in mind, my peace proposal will be like this:

1. IF KIBAKI AND RAILA REALLY FEEL THAT THEY ARE THE RIGHTFUL LEADERS OF KENYA AND IF THEY ARE MEN ENOUGH, I PROPOSE THAT THEY BE BROUGHT IN THE OPEN AT UHURU PARK, WHERE TRADITIONAL RITUALS WILL BE ADMINISTERED TO THEM IN THE OPEN. THIS IS SO BECAUSE WE WANT THEM TO BE ACCEPTED BY THE VARIOUS COMMUNITIES, SO THAT THE WINNER OF THIS PROPOSAL WILL RULE KENYA IN HARMONY.

2. AT UHURUPARK WE WILL PERFORM THE RITUALS ON THEM ONE BY ONE. Any tribes people who feel that they need to coronate their leader or elder will appoint their man (be it a traditional medicine man or healer or elder or witch, whatever the case), to come and perform their desired ritual on both Kibaki and Raila.

Circumcision, which is ritual held dearly amongst other communities, will be carried out by that famous traditional circumciser, on both the men and their women (because the women will also go to occupy the State House. The rituals must be done in accordance with a clinician and or a medical doctor present. It must be hygienic to the extreme.

Secondly, they will have to undergo the physical removal of the SIX LOWER TEETH (a waning tradition dearly loved by the Luo, and also a way to determine how long a true warrior can withstand pain). You see this process could last from one hour to two days before all the teeth are gone. The process involves tying a string around a huge stone almost 10 kg. It is then placed on the unfortunate person undergoing the ritual. The extension of the string is then secured to the root of the tooth to be uprooted. The ‘traditional architect’ then goes to work with a prick-like chisel, working on the root of the tooth till it becomes loose. He would at intervals be pushing the stone off one’s head to see whether it uproots the tooth off the jaw. If the one being operated on is unlucky, then the process can be repeated several times before the tooth is uprooted. Woe unto you if you have dregs of fear in you.

All that process is carried out without anaesthesia whatsoever, SO THAT THEY (RAILA AND KIBAKI) ARE BOTH ACCEPTABLE TO THE LUO COMMUNITY. AFTER THIS, IT IS MANDATORY THAT THEY GO THROUGH THE FACE MARKING CEREMONY, FAMOUS WITH THE POKOT WARRIORS, THEN THE MORAN SESSION OF THE MAASAI. NO NEED TO SPEND TEN YEARS IN THE BUSH, BUT THE RITUAL STEPS WILL BE SYMBOLIZED. THEREAFTER, WE WILL SYMBOLICALLY PARADE THEM, BARE BUTT, ALONG THE UHURU PATHS TO SIGNIFY THE BUKUSU AND THE LUHYA RITES OF PASSAGE. ALL THE 42 TRIBES MUST PERFORM THEIR RITUALS ON THESE LEADERS. WE WILL NOT FORGET THE WAZIMBA OF KILIFI'S (IN COASTPROVINCE) RITUAL OF LITERALY KILLING THEIR FIRST BORN AND FEEDING ON THE CORPSE. SO THEY SHOULD GET READY TO GIVE OUT JIMMY (KIBAKI’S) AND CASTRO (RAILA’S), TO THE WAZIMBA'S KNIFE.

FINALLY, THE TRIBAL ELDERS WILL BE ASKED TO CONSULT THEIR PEOPLE TO SHOUT OUT THE NAME OF THE PERSON THEY WANT TO LEAD THEM, BETWEEN THE TWO. WHOEVER WINS, THE APPROVAL BECOMES THE PRESIDENT AND ALL KENYANS WILL BE ASKED TO RALLY BEHIND THAT MAN. NO MORE FIGHTS! DISPLACED PEOPLE MUST THEN BE RESETTLED AND THE GOVERNMENT BE ASKED TO REBUILD BOTH KISUMU AND ELDORET AS WELL AS TIMBOROA, NAIVASHA AND NAKURU.

THIS PEACE INITIATIVE CAN NOT FAIL TO WORK. THE ONLY THING THAT MUST BE TAKEN CARE OF IS: KALONZO MUST NEVER BE ALLOWED NEAR THOSE TALKS OR AT UHURU PARK. HE IS FAMOUS FOR READING SCRIPTS FROM TRAITOR DOCTRINE BOOK, WHILE WHAT WILL BE NEEDED IN THESE TALKS SHOULD COME FROM TRUTH AND JUSTICE BOOK, NOT THE ONE DISPENSED BY GICHERU, BUT ONE COMING FROM KENYANS.

TERMS OF REFERENCE: ANYBODY USING LOOTED MONEY TO INFLUENCE THE PEOPLE'S DECISION WILL BE DISQUALIFIED, BUT LOBBYING WITH THE VIEW OF ENLIGHTENING THE ELDERS ON PROMISE OF A BETTER FUTURE LIFE, FOR ALL COMMUNITIES CAN BE ALLOWED.

After going through those rituals then, we Kenyans will determine who between the two is brave enough to lead the country and subsequently we will shout the name out without rigging it: NO MOU, NO RE-ELECTION, KIBAKI DOES NOT HAVE TO STEP DOWN, HE WILL ONLY BE REQUIRED TO MANDATORILY DO SO, IF HE IS NOT APPROVED BY THE PEOPLE GATHERED ON "TRADITIONS DAY." SO NAMED BECAUSE AS IT IS, IT WILL BE THE BEST WAY AND DAY TO SELECT OUR PRESIDENT. THIS DAY THEN, MUST REPLACE OUR NATIONAL DAYS LIKE Jamhuri and Makadara (Republic and Independence) or is it Kenyatta and Moi days, and all those other meaningless days, for these days do not reflect our culture, traditions and customs as a Kenyan people.

A true Kenyan

Kenyan traditions would then be the best ticket to the Presidency. The citizens’ votes are nothing compared to the traditions. If you are thinking by the Gap left by your removed lower teeth whether they are two or six, or if you keep thinking by the missing foreskin on your genitals then join me in urging those two to agree to go through this peace process. It is the only way to heal Kenya.